


A Thousand Lovers and Only One

by Pastelbees



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Kid Fic, M/M, Reincarnation, Soulmate AU, Well - Freeform, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 04:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8313631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastelbees/pseuds/Pastelbees
Summary: Gabriel has lived his whole life falling in love with the same person over and over again, but there was one time he loved being in love with them the most.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a year ago and published it on wattpad but never here??? Was so proud of it?? All my shitty writings of old are here idk why this never got on here when it's p good for litre me imo

****

Sam's first life didn't start like one would think. No, the repeat of living and loving and death didn't begin like in the storybooks. It began thanks to an angel, as so many lives unknowingly do.

His mother and father were set to meet even before their great grandparents existed. Their meeting was of such importance that only the best and most powerful angels were permitted to oversee it. Enter Gabriel: an important angel, but also an outcast of a being and thus someone who shouldn't have known about the project of the Winchesters. Yet, he had friends within the community and, as everybody should now know, Gabriel always gets what he wants.

When he found out about the plan for a staged relationship- made to be as picture perfect as American pie- Gabriel was furious. There was no way in hell he'd let his family pull a stunt like this again, not after what happened the last time they tried to work out a relationship. If another Crowley happened, they'd become the laughing stock of the supernatural world.

There was no way to trust that the others could do something right when it came to relationships.

So, he took the form of a child and did his best to make sure that the two's love affair was one of jokes and joy but also filled with the dose of reality that the others had not wanted within their plan. And so it was that Mary and John Winchester fell deeply in love and soon after created their first child.

The thing is- when it came to having children- the young couple had wanted to stop at Dean, a soon to be demon king though they would never know it to be so. Mary was more than willing to give up the idea of having another baby if it meant she could spend more time with Dean and less time buried in diapers or clutching her stomach in pain. John wished his wife to only be happy and thus felt that one bubbling baby boy was quite alright. But Gabriel knew the other angels wouldn't allow that, as they needed a second as much as a first to complete their prophecy.

So, the mischievous angel once more took the form of a human, this time bewitching his poor brother to be a toddler for the sake of his game. (Of course, he didn't mean for Castiel to have the mind of a three year old too, but mistakes happen and to be honest he was quite rushed in the situation. Mary had to want this, John too. Nobody wants to be raised unwanted.) Off the duo went, Gabriel in the body of a man by the name of Leo and Castiel having taken no host thanks to the spell, hand in hand until they reached the park. At this point, Cas let out a squeal of excitement as he raced to a sandbox where Dean sat, making castles and pushing them over with plastic racecars.

As many can guess, it was the sight of the older Dean teaching the younger Cas how to play that caused Mary to wonder what it would be like to have a second child. (Obviously, she had pondered on the idea before, but never as much as when she saw little Dean being what could be considered as the perfect older brother to a young stranger's child.)

"If it's a girl, Dean could teach her to dance and play princes and princesses with her! If it's a boy he can- well, do the same. But think about it. Can you imagine it, John? Two instead of one." Mary whispered to her husband as they watched their son play with his cars once more that evening. John had laughed, shaking his head before leaning over to kiss his wife's cheek. She blushed, curling closer into his embrace as they sat on the couch.

Soon enough, just a year after Dean's trip to the park where he met an adorable blue eyed boy with dark brown hair that reminded John of his friend from highschool, a new child was born to the Winchester household. If only Mary had remembered the demon from so many years before, then she would have decided against another one. Or, maybe, she would've taken her chances. God only knows.

But, there was something that happened when the blood was dripped into his mouth at such a young age, something nobody could have counted on. From that point on Sam Winchester would live not one life, but thousands, his soul replicating across time and space. He'd be born as a peasant, a hunter, a prince, and so many more before it would end. But, though the idea of seemingly living forever, with a few deaths here and there, may seem exciting, his lives were always seeping with torment and pain.

There was, thankfully, one constant in his existence. The very same angel, with whiskey eyes and such a sweet smile, found himself being pulled out of his life as a trickster and into Sam's unwillingly, though he might have deserved it for being the reason the boy was doomed to life never ending. Yes, it was Gabriel who found himself in the body of a child, born to the family of the king, the monsters, the poor man as common as the rich. And, naturally, it was Gabriel who Sam befriended when they passed each other in school or the marketplace or anywhere else two young men might meet. But, though the angel may have dreamed at night of who he was before all of this, Sam knew nothing of it.

There were other things that oftentimes appeared in the many lives of Sam Winchester. His brother, young and handsome to all who saw him, his father, sometimes a raging beast and others as peaceful as a meadow, and his mother, young and beautiful, were distant memories to all who would dare to mention to a young Sam about his family. He was almost always an orphan, taken in by some terribly nice family who weren't always looking for a child when they found him but kept him all the same.

One time, it was Gabriel's own mother and father who adopted the boy. This life, like many other's was one of the angel's favorites. (Naturally, it would only be after he had finally returned to his true self that Gabe could fully remember all of his lives, but by then there would be so many that he'd begin to block out the memory of Sam Winchester, just to escape the pain.)

They'd found him on the front porch steps of the town hospital, Mrs. And Mr. Novak that is. The couple had left their son at home so that they might get some much needed relaxation. Only a Novak would have the luck as to run from their child for the evening just to have a stranger's kid find them.

Sam was crying, his head in his hands as his poor six year old body shook. His old, ratty jacket was soaked, though there was no rain in sight. His hair was long and wild and in no way was it good for a child to have such a mane left unbrushed. To any and all who passed him, he was just another orphan of the times, left alone as so many children were as their families became victims of The Illness.

Mrs. Novak wasn't like the others who had passed the kid, nor was her husband of twelve years. When she saw Sam sobbing on those cement steps, her heart ached. Her own son was just a couple of years older than this orphan whom she'd just caught sight of. The very idea of Gabriel being without a family- no. She couldn't handle it. Neither, so it seemed, could Mr. Novak.

Carefully, with one hand grasping her husband's and the other raised almost as in surrender, she called out to the boy.

"Hello?" His head snapped up, fear like no child should experience overcoming his puffy cheeks. Tears rolled down those cheeks and dripped from his chin as his hands pushed into the grey-white step beneath him. His body shifted to escape. "Are you okay?"

"I- I know I'm not supposed to be here ma'am. My brother said he was gonna be back. He's gonna be back. Isn't he?" The other boy was nowhere in sight. In fact, Dean hadn't been around for over a week. Sam wasn't good at keeping time when he was hiding inside the hospital, nor when he was kicked out.

It was at that moment that Mr. Novak remembered making his rounds in the hospital and hearing about a kid who's father had died of The Illness just months before. He'd been seen in the children's wing, the maternity ward, and even the lunchroom, racing around like a ghost. Had he been alone, Chuck would've thought him to be just that, a mourning spirit. But Mr. Novak wasn't alone and this child was definitely real.

"Oh sweetie." What had happened to his brother? The older man racked his brain to remember. The little boy. The little boy. The- and there it was. Mrs. Novak began to speak again but he cut her off in his haste.

"He's with your mother now."

"What? No. He said- he said he was gonna get me some food." How was Chuck supposed to explain to his wife and the boy that Dean had been struck by a car on his way to the bakery? The boy was crying and the soon to be doctor could think of nothing to do as his wife rushed up to the shaking child and attempted to comfort him.

"Sweetie, it's gonna be alright. Why don't you come home with us for a bit and get some sleep? Then we can figure this out." Whispered Mrs. Novak into the cool, evening air and so Sam did and, though it took a while to get him to warm up to the couple and their boisterous son, he soon found himself becoming apart of the family.

Gabriel went from a simple annoyance to a best friend over the years, Mrs. Novak taking the place of Sam's lost mother in the same way that Mr. Novak did his father- almost like inlaws or the parents of a very close friend, the latter of which they were. Grief came and went in Sam's heart, as it would in all lives, but it never stayed for long as it was chased away by Gabriel's grin and glee. Sam went to school, slept in his own room, and lived life like any other child. Then, after eleven years of fun and peace, tragedy struck once more.

The boys were by the river, seventeen year-old Sam sat with his legs in the water as he laughed at just nineteen year-old Gabe's most recent story. Gabriel, with his hands swinging wildly to help rush along his humorous tale about his trip to the movies, was sitting on his knees in the calm waters, leaning so carefully towards Sam when speaking that the younger boy could barely stop his blush.

"- and I know what you're thinking," He said dramatically before causing his voice to take on a falsetto like tone "'My Gabby would never do that!' But I did, Sammy. I socked that ticket man right in the-"

"I do not sound like that!" Sam interrupted, still grinning at his friend. Gabriel stopped. In the silence inbetween that moment and the next, their eyes met for a split second before Sam glanced away. Gabe began to chuckle, though the boy with eyes ever-changing couldn't tell if it was at what he said or just out of the awkwardness of the situation.

Briefly, he considered addressing that awkwardness between them, possibly ruining their wonderful friendship in an attempt to pursue something even more wonderful. Or, at least, Sam thought it would be better than this. But who was he to know? He shook his head at the thought. He knew nothing, all of his relationships had ended terribly. Besides, Gabriel didn't think of them like that. He was two years older than him, anyways. To Gabe he was just his friend, or worse. His brother.

"What's goin' on in that big 'ol head of yours Sammy?" His friend gazed up at him with a smirk. Oh, God, that smirk. It could cause even the straightest of men to swoon, Sam vowed upon it.

"Nothing at all." He hopped up before Gabe could say anymore, splashing his friend with his foot before racing down the edge of the river bank, searching for a ledge to jump off of or a tree he could climb. Anything to make a big splash on the oldest, yet shortest teen. Anything to distract Gabriel from what he knew they would someday have to face. Or ignore forever.

He found a boulder-like rock a couple yards away that hung over the river just a few feet. His feet slipped slightly when he ran over it's smooth surface before hopping into the water with a splash. Gabriel groaned as he was doused completely, from his bare feet to his cotton shirt. Shamelessly, the smallish teen slipped off his shirt, much to Sam's annoyance.

What the hell, Gabe. He thought to himself, trying his hardest to ignore his friend's soft looking chest, his slightly chubby stomach. Oh how he wished he could just... Gabriel had started his trek to the rock, but he was too distracted by something. With a yelp, he tripped on the same wet surface that Sam had, but this time with worse consequences than just a simple slip.

A shout rang through the woods as Gabriel fell to the ground, his body slamming against the base of the rock with a sickening crack.

"Oh my God, Gabe!" Sam yelled, swimming to the water's edge before jumping out of it entirely. The world became all to real, adrenaline pumping through Sam's veins as he rushed to Gabriel, fearing what was to come.

-

In his own opinion, tragedy wasn't that Gabe had broken his back, it wasn't that Sam had been apart of the reason as to why- though he would never blame him and it was really only Sam who thought this to be true in the first place, it was the blasted hospital food. Sure, Gabe should've been happy to be alive, counting his blessings, blah blah blah but they literally tried to feed him mac-n-cheese that didn't even have any real cheese in it. This was mutiny! Then, to top it off, they wouldn't let him have any more sweets thanks to some new stupid 36 hour law or something. Gabe wanted to cry. He did cry.

"I can't believe they'd treat me this way, Sammy!" Gabe vented to his friend the moment his parents had been called off to fill out some sort of paperwork. "And to think Dad didn't tell me about this until after I got stuck in here."

Sam laughed, though his eyes were still red from tears and his heart still on edge from anxiety. He smiled at the boy with the golden hair, meeting his eyes though Gabe watched him almost like he was seeing him for the first time. Is he still medicated? That's got to be the only explanation.

"He did tell you, genius." A second passed and Gabe's face screwed up in annoyance, disbelief. Sam shook his head, ignoring the way his hair slid into his face. "Last week? We were at O'Mally's? For supper?" Gabe shook his head. "You're ridiculous."

"I'll have you know that I was doing very important things whilst that conversation went on." Gabriel scoffed.

Sam rolled his eyes before replying, much to his friend's amusement. "You mean flirting with Kevin?"

"Precisely."

The TV in Gabe's room had cable, unlike at the Novak house where it'd been cut from the budget since they were nine and Mr. Novak had taken a serious dock to his pay. So, in the times in which Sam found himself sitting in the room with only Gabriel and himself- the Novak's only had so many sick days and both of the boys had assured them they would be fine alone for a few hours- he took pleasure in flipping on the flat screen and catching up on whatever cheesy show he'd missed. For hours he was entertained by binge watching The Walking Dead and the occasional Star Trek episode.

But, soon enough, even the television began to bore him. How long could Gabe sleep? Apparently, a broken back meant hours of rest. Luckily, though they wouldn't discuss it until he was without his parents there or forced to by a doctor, he'd only be stuck in a wheelchair for a couple of months. Still, Sam felt like half the time Gabe wasn't even asleep at all. He was just closing his eyes, counting his breaths, avoiding the inevitable conversation about what he'd be doing now.

Seconds of waiting for Gabe to "wake up" turned to minutes, minutes into hours and soon enough the man in question opened his eyes. However, by then, it was Sam who had drifted off into neverland, lying spread out in a seat much to small for a man of his size. His hand hung off the green chair's armrest, close enough to Gabe that he could easily reach out and take it into his own. He couldn't deny that he wanted to. If only in some universe Sam would've wanted him to.

He sighed, ignoring the pain in his back as he reached for the remote carefully balanced on Sam's knee. His fingertips had just brushed it when he felt another spike of pain brush up against his spine.

"Oh, God." He groaned, leaning back on the plain white hospital bed. The nurses had warned him about moving around, or, rather, told him specifically not to do so. But since when did Gabe listen to those who meant well? That's right. He never has, never will. It's a fatal flaw of his.

Sam, at the sound of Gabriel's protest for what he would guess what his situation, awoke with a start. He moved to straighten his body, going back to a normal, human sitting position. With a clap the remote fell to the floor. Great.

"Good job, Samster." Gabriel chimed, turning his head over to his friend with a smirk. "Now nobody gets the remote. Just what it wanted, I would say."

Gabriel's voice was dry, hoarse from disuse and lack of water. Sam didn't bother retorting to him about the nickname nor the comment on the remote. Instead, he stood from the chair slowly and with ease, made his was to the sink by the door, grabbed a plastic cup from the dispenser that the nurses used, and filled it. Gabriel pretended not to notice this small kindness, not yet.

"The doc came in a couple hours ago." Sam began, remembering the man who had borne a striking resemblance to Mr. Novak apart from his long, red hair. He'd popped in to check on his patient just after lunch, mumbling to himself about physical therapy before giving Sam a reassuring nod and running to check on some kid in the children's wing. The hospital was understaffed and overfilled, not that Sam could do anything about it at his age.

"Say anything interesting?" Gabriel responded. He didn't seem too interested in their conversation, though that might have been because Sam had just handed him his water and he was parched. Or, maybe, it was the way their fingers had touched when Gabe had reached for his cup. He's just thirsty, Sam. Gabriel took a sip.

"Nothing of note."

"Oh yeah? I'm sure that's all." He snorted, draining the last of his cup. "And my mother is a witch."

"Maybe she is." She wasn't. They didn't talk anymore, trading their conversation for another episode of The Walking Dead.

Sam sat back down on the seat, hand hanging off the arm rest, his gaze trapped onto the television like it was an anchor to the earth. He avoided even glancing toward Gabriel, worried that if he did the guy would come to his senses and realize who's fault it really was for the accident.

But, Gabe noticed the way Sam's eyes looked almost on the edge of tears. He saw right past his charade of indifference, his feigned exhaustion. Almost instinctually, and without looking once more at his friend, he reached over from his place on the bed and casually took Sam's hand. They didn't talk about it. They never talk about it.

-

As one would hope, Gabriel got better. Soon enough he went back to his home in the country, but this time he acted different than when he'd been there before. He was careful as a boy can be, never taking more than he could hold when they went to the grocery store, speaking softly and trying his hardest to not break any rules. In almost everything he did, he did so as if walking on glass. There was, as always, one exception.

Sam required no need for carefulness, nor could he be convinced by Gabriel's attempts at avoiding conflict that he was okay. In all honesty, it was more that it was no use to be careful more than the lack of a need. Gabriel just gave up when it came to Sam.

But, that didn't mean he wasn't quiet at the dinner table when his parents spoke about their day, always doing his best to avoid attention. Nor did it keep him from keeping his eyes to himself when he was with his parents- be that it was the waitress at whatever diner they were eating at or those moments when he could barely ignore the way Sam looked in that exercise shirt he wore for his soccer team. You see, Gabriel had already caused enough trouble in his family, that much he was convinced of.

This new way of living didn't escape Sam. Of course, rarely did anything. Ever since he lost his family, the teen had developed almost a third sense when it came to details. Gabriel, when he noticed but never commented on the issue, thought that was why he was so good at sports. Nobody can sneak past a person with eyes like a hawk.

Sam didn't comment on it. Sometimes, he'd reasoned, Gabriel needed time alone to sort out his feelings, even if that "time alone" was more than just a couple of days of ignoring the way his eyes stayed cast towards the ground when he thought nobody was looking. More often than not, though Sam didn't know, it was the younger boy who Gabriel watched in moments of despair.

"How do you do it?" Gabe wanted to ask his cheerful friend with a smile like the sun. He wouldn't ask such things, though. Instead, he decided he was doing a good job hiding his problems and wouldn't dare to draw his situation to light. Silence was key to Gabriel Novak.

-

Things didn't really get better for Gabriel, nor did it for Sam. Nightmares plagued the younger whilst a fear of abandonment overshadowed the eldest in almost everything he did. For Gabriel, what had started off as an anxiety towards his parents and their situation had accumulated into something more dangerous. With Sam, the recent trip to the hospital had stirred up old memories.

By the time a month had come and gone after the accident, the two had found themselves more on edge, searching for some sort of comfort in this mad world. Gabriel, who had taken to sleeping in Sam's room as he couldn't really get up the stairs to his own at the moment, would listen to the sound of Sam's breaths as he tried to sleep.

Listening to Sam used to be a calming thing. Whether he was speaking or singing or whistling or really anything, he'd always have this way of going about it that seemed like a breath of fresh air to Gabe. Perhaps, the comparison of listening to Sam Winchester and a warm bath was better suited. But, then the accident happened and the taller boy twitched and shouted in his sleep. He moaned and groaned and begged some mysterious force not to take somebody away. Sometimes it was Dean, sometimes his mother. Every now and then it was Sam's father. But, mostly it was just Gabe.

He'd start out with a whisper, then a cry before he was repeating Gabriel's name like a mantra.

"Please don't take him. NO, no not-" It never ended. Some nights Gabriel prayed he'd loose his hearing all together, just so he wouldn't have to suffer through the anguish in Sam's voice. For weeks he'd tried to wake him, only to find that, even with a bell ringing in his ear, Sam was stuck in the nightmarish world of sleep until morning.

Then, one night, Sam began to shake and kick. His arms wrapped tightly around his chest as he sobbed and- suddenly he fell off of the couch and onto the hardwood flooring. He groaned, but this time it was different. Gabriel looked over at his friend to see that he was awake, finally, and rubbing his head angrily.

"You okay sport?" He tried to sound teasing, to keep up whatever act that the duo had been putting forth to ignore the way they were spiraling into hell in a hand basket. But, when Sam turned to him to give his witty response, nothing became of it. His mouth opened to speak yet no words tumbled out.

Sam's cheeks were covered with tears, his now blue eyes filled with sorrow. There were no sunshine smiles from him on that night, only shaking hands to wipe away the same things that wet the teen's red shirt. Gabriel's shirt.

With a frown, Gabriel paused before pulling back his blanket and patting the mattress beside him.

"C'mon," A moment passed, the older teen continued. "Like old times, yeah?" Sam nodded, much like a sleepy child, and stood. The literal giant climbed into the smallish bed with Gabriel quietly, as if that were the only way to do such a thing as getting into bed with your lifelong crush. Of course, Sam was still to shaken up to think of it as anything more than something innocent. Sweet.

They didn't talk about it, not one word, but soon enough Sam found himself sleeping in his own bed more often than not, close enough to Gabriel to feel the shorter man's breath against his neck. A month came to pass once more and still they shared the room. Somehow, Gabriel's stuff slowly migrated into the small bedroom, his shirt's in Sam's drawers, his favorite scarf wrapped around the bedpost. The two were physically closer than ever, though they spoke no word about it even when Sam awoke to find Gabriel's arm around his waist, or the man's head on his chest.

Slowly, after weeks and weeks of nothing seeming to help, Sam and Gabriel began to get better. The dreams didn't last as long, though they still came some nights on a particularly rough day. The fear Gabriel felt of his parents seeing him as a burden began to lift, even if some times he found himself wondering if they truly loved him. Sam was there for Gabe, constantly reassuring him in the smallest gestures that, yes, he was loved and Gabriel was there for Sam in the warm embrace that neither of them bothered to worry about anymore after a nightmare that became less and less important as time passed by.

That was why, out of all of the love stories between Samuel Winchester and Gabriel, Angel of the Lord, this one was the angel's favorite. It was a slow burn kind of love, a confusing yet sweet experience that began with a sad and abandoned little boy and ended with two grumpy old men with a family of their own and a story worth telling. A story which, after seventy-nine years, ended with a slow kiss and a sinking ship. And so a new tale began with Sam and Gabe, entirely different from the one before, yet just as loving and maybe as sweet.


End file.
